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Modified from original version that was targeted at a specific church. Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18(niv). I
would like to look at a form of loneliness found by single people and couples
alike. It is the loneliness found in lack
of friendship, or rejection. At this
point you may consider "rejection" to be a strong word, and that you
would never purposely reject anybody, but I'm sure that everyone at some point
has felt a sense of rejection. This
article is concerned with unintended rejection, present in many churches. MOVING
I
read once that moving house is supposed to be more distressing than divorce.
It is definitely a distressing time if you move from a town or city you
have lived for many years to a new place. You
are suddenly faced with the prospect of needing to make new friends, and very
likely moving to a new church. When I was
a student, I had to make such a move twice, once to Bangor, to study my
first degree, and then to Nottingham. Both
times I was very grateful that I was able to make friends fairly easy with
Christians and non-Christians alike, as there were other students in the same
boat. For
some people, making friends is not so easy. Suppose
you went to visit a church you have never been to, on your own, would you be
able to go up to someone who you've never met and say hello?
You would probably find it very difficult.
Suppose you did venture to coffee afterwards, I'm sure you would hope
someone would introduce themselves to you. If
not, you would probably feel rejected by that church.
Likewise newcomers at any church can suffer the same problem. WE
ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE
So
how does this involve you? You are
probably fortunate in that you have a large group of friends at the church and
it is very easy to not notice the newcomers. Sometimes,
if you do meet a newcomer, you may give "small talk," but put up
barriers. You don't make any real effort
to get to know them. By doing this
(or rather not making the effort), you are in fact rejecting them. DO
TO OTHERS
John,
in 1 John 3:18 tells us that actions speak louder than words.
We can feel sorry for the lonely, or say "yes, someone should go and
see them," but God commands us to action. This
means for instance introducing them to your friends, letting go of your
barriers, and even visiting them. Consider
what you would like people to do if you went to a new church, and remember
Jesus' words: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31(niv) (c) Jamie Hunter |
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